Guacamole

Recently, I had a run-in with Cheesecake Factory and their "made-to-order" guacamole. Namely that it's not made to order at all--the two ingredients are avocado and pico de gallo, which means any food sensitivity needs will leave you with a bowl of mashed avo. Seriously. No salt, no lime juice, not even on the side.

When we got home that day, my mom decided to procure some avocado of our own. They were on sale--10 for $10--so naturally she walked away with 10 avos.

Today was that magical day when avocados decide to be edible for a whole 12 hours, so I scooped those puppies and made my own guacamole.

I used to put some tomato in there, but obvs that won't work anymore.

Stupid solanines.

Nothing to see here. Except, of course, for divine guac. 

Notcher Supermarket Guac
serves 2-4

2 avocados, pitted and smashed
1/2 small sweet onion or red onion, minced
1 small clove garlic
juice of 1 small lime
chopped cilantro to taste unless you were cursed with the soapy-cilantro gene, in which case I haz a sad for you

Throw all this in a bowl, salt it to taste, and you haz guac. It's stupid easy to do and whips up in no time. How much cilantro you use is up to you. For a single-double serving like this, I'll pull a couple of stalks away from the bunch and chop those up to the point that the leaves stop on the stalk. In the case of the gigantic bowl I made with 10 avos, I used the whole bunch and might have used more if I could (I lurves the cilantros).

I used to eat homemade salsa for a meal, so the guac will have to suffice from now on. Le sigh.

Pumpkin Soup (Yeah, yeah, basic blah blah)

I love this pumpkin soup. A friend made some once, and I'd never had it. She served it with pepitas on top, which I found obnoxious (pumpkin seeds are for roasting, 'zatch), but it was super tasty. I decided to make my own.

I failed to replicate hers, but I found something I liked even better and stopped trying to copy hers. Behold! Pumpkin soup, just in time for the pumpkin spice overload season. It contains nuts and coconut.

omnomnom

Not Your BFF's Pumpkin Soup
Serves 1 unless you're willing to share, in which case more like 6-8

1 medium sweet onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced or pressed
1 tsp oil
3/4 tbsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp turmeric
1 tsp ground thyme
1/2 tsp marjoram
1 tsp rubbed sage
6 cups water
2 cubes Not Chicken bouillon
1 big-ass can of pumpkin (not the little one-the big one)
1/2 cup nut butter (peanut, almond, whatever floats your boat; I prefer peanut)1 can coconut milk (the standard size)
salt & pepper to taste

In a big-ass pot, saute the onion in the oil for about a minute, until they get all OMG I'M MELTING looking, and then throw in the garlic. Give it a stir. Dump in the spices, stir again to warm and coat the onion and then add the water and bouillon. Let the water heat up real nice-like, and then add the can of pumpkin and the nut butter. Let that simmer for about 20-30 minutes so all the flavors come together. Add the coconut milk and salt and pepper. Let the soup come back to a simmer, and then serve that shit. Don't let the coconut milk heat up for too long.

You can serve it with pepitas on top, if that's your jam, or be cool like me and snack on that shit instead. The soup doesn't need it. 

Coooooorn!

Do you love corn? I love corn.

Here's my favorite corn, adapted from my mom's recipe because she can eat nightshades and I can't.

It's motherfucking corn, y'all!

The Best Grilled Corn[house] in Texas
Serves 4

4 ears corn, shucked
1 tbsp vegetable oil (olive is my preference, yo)
Juice of 1 lemon or lime (whatever you have on hand; I prefer lemon)
2 tsp sumac
salt & pepper to taste
optional: if you can do nightshades, add a pinch of cayenne powder

This is stupid hard, y'all. Ready? Throw all this in a large Ziploc bag and let it marinate for at least 30 minutes. Best is all day. Throw it in the fridge, rock out at work, and then it's ready to go. If you're around, you can swish that shit around in the juices if you like. But it's not necessary.

To cook: Throw it on the grill with yer portabellos or whatever you're grilling. Takes about 10 minutes, depending on the temp you're using. Look for the corn to brown in a few spots, and it's ready.

Seriously, this shit is so good, my mother (who has a serious problem--she'll ask for a extra side of butter at IHOP for her pancakes, no fucking lie) won't butter it. SHE WON'T BUTTER THE CORN, PEOPLE. This shit is for real.

The cayenne can add a serious pop if you go above and beyond with the pinching, but if you keep it down to that pinch, it only adds a zing. It's not spicy at all. You'll leave the marinade in the bag when you throw the corn on the grill, so it's not like you're ingesting a ton of cayenne.

Jackfruit Chick'n and Rice

No photos--sorry! I totally forgot to grab my camera before serving, and it was devoured by my omni family members. I suppose that's a good thing, though... ETA I lied. Leftovers!

Of course it's colorless. It's chik'n and rice, ffs.

Recipe!

Jackfruit Chick'n and Rice
serves 6 (leftovers, bitches!)
Free of gluten, soy, flesh, dairy, eggs, nuts, nightshades

Ingredients:
1 can jackfruit in brine, drained and rinsed
1 cube vegan chicken bouillon (I rec Edward & Sons Not Chicken)
1 small sweet onion (like Vidalia), chopped
4-5 celery hearts, chopped
1 clove garlic
1-2tsp oil (olive, canola, whatever you can handle)
2 c jasmine rice
1 tsp ground mustard (the spice, not the condiment)
1 tbsp poultry seasoning
A shit ton of water
Pinch of salt and pepper to taste

Instructions:

In a medium pot, dump the jackfruit and the bouillon cube, and fill with water until the jackfruit is covered. Pop that on the stove and let it boil. It'll need about 30 minutes to an hour to soften. You can cut the wedges into smaller pieces to expedite this.

While the jackfruit is getting its flavor and texture, heat the oil in a skillet and add the onion. Saute until it's getting to that translucent point, and add the garlic clove, salt, and pepper. Stir for another 30 seconds and then dump the contents in the jackfruit pot. Put the celery in the skillet and saute until it softens a hair, then toss the mustard in there and let it really soak up the win. Or, you know, mix it all together and let the mustard get all warm and groovy. Then toss that shit in the jackfruit pot, too.

Let the pot boil (covered) until the jackfruit is starting to shred. The water level should remain just covering the contents. Add more if necessary. After the shredding begins, dump the jasmine rice and poultry seasoning in there and give it a good stir to keep from clumping. Add another 4 cups of water. If you want a super chicken flavor, you can add another bouillon cube, but I didn't find it necessary. Reduce the heat to a simmer.

It'll take 15-20 minutes to cook. It's done when the water is mostly absorbed. You can add more water and cook it longer to get that creamy texture popular in Southern chicken and rice--you know, where the rice is basically two minutes from mush and the chicken has broken down so much, there's a piece of corpse in every bite--or you can go ahead and nosh. We noshed. It was fine.



Enjoy!

A new direction

My vegan journey has taken a huge left turn over the last few years, and this year particularly has been hard. I've decided to use this old, abandoned blog to record recipes I've found or come up with (travel-convenient or not) and to continue to record how I get by while traveling.

So what's going on? Rheumatoid arthritis.

In 2011, I was diagnosed with RA and threatened with "chemo drugs" by my rheumatologist. Since I'm not cool with drugs that have "serious infections" and "lymphoma" listed as side effects, I looked around for alternatives. And I found stuff that worked. I did an elimination diet to determine my food triggers (wheat/gluten, dairy, egg, flesh, and tomatoes--so aside from the bread and the maters, I was good to go), cut those triggers from my diet, increased my intake of fermented foods (I made my own sauerkraut, kombucha, and water kefir), and supplemented my diet with B12, D3, Culturelle, and turmeric.

As of last year, I was in remission. I had no flare ups, and the only pain I felt was during BJJ training when a joint that probably has permanent damage took too much strain. I also was able to add gluten back in. I was able to return tomatoes to my diet about six months after cutting them.

So what happened next is a replay of what happened when I initially got sick. At our house in California, the owner never disclosed a mold problem (dick), so we were shocked when we moved our furniture out, and the walls they'd concealed were covered in black mold. I had been so sick during our time in that house, and this explained everything. I didn't connect mold to my RA until later, when I read that a lot of auto-immune cases begin with mold exposure, particularly in grains.

Earlier this year, our most recent house (in Virginia) developed a gnarly mold problem our new landlord took his sweet time fixing (cockburger), and my RA returned with a vengeance. We're out of that house and loping towards Hawaii, but I'm in a lot of pain. I've been eliminating again to find new triggers, and I think I've got them. I HOPE I have all of them because ugh. Check this:

• gluten/wheat
• dairy and eggs (accidental exposure revealed these huzzah)
• I assume meat continues and will not eliminate for that because vegan duh
• soy
• nightshades (tomatoes again but also now eggplant, potatoes, paprika, and peppers)

Finding ways around my triggers will be fun! And exciting! Especially as I head to a place that would have offered so much wonderful cuisine. Ah, well. Health first.

This ain't going to be no professional blog with purty pictures and schmancy recipes. I will post photos with my phone and offer tidbits I've found to get around these dietary restrictions (especially as I travel or find myself in spots where food options are limited), but I hope making these public will help others who've realized their new dietary rule is "If it's tasty, I can't eat it" and are ready to take up arms to prove that rule wrong.

So the first thing I'm going to do is link to a fantastic website I just stumbled across. I was looking for ways to get around nightshades because I have a hankering for vegan jambalaya, and I found Vegetalion and her umeboshi paste, tamarind paste, PB, and squash recommendations. So stoked!!

Strap in, and if you've stumbled across this blog in your search for filling, nutritious, comforting food while dealing with allergies/food triggers, hollah. 

Finding Pre-Packaged Food

On my latest road tripping adventures, I've been blessed by a fab-tastic find: Go Picnic.

Unfortunately, the Hummus and Crackers meal is the only vegan option I've been able to find in stores, but their website shows several options, though only two are entirely vegan. You could, if desperate, offer the Amy's cheddar bunnies from the peanut butter meal to the nearest carnivore and still eat vegan (I assume the fruit chews are gelatin-free, as most all-natural brands tend to be).

I found the meal to be dry, which isn't surprising and wasn't off-putting with a beverage in hand, but the hummus was delish, and everything was perfectly portioned. With a bottle of water [or a soy latte], I had just enough nourishment to keep me trucking and a variety of tastes to keep my interest. Plus - bonus! - gluten-free!

As long as the box and its contents go through airport security unopened, it should (according to current standards) be good for a long flight.

Cracker FAIL

I shouldn't experiment. It's dangerous.

Just to see what would happen, I randomly threw together water, chia seeds (about 2:1), sesame seeds, ground flax, a bit of spelt, dehydrated garlic, Italian seasonings, and a *thpt* of Bragg's. I tossed it in the oven and warmed it for about six or seven hours at 170 degrees, the lowest my oven goes.

*urp*

I love the sesame flavor. That's a definite win. But the crackers have this strange flavor at the back of my nose that's like something went bad, and there's this weird texture that, even though it's all crackery and shit, seems slimy. I'm going to try again and actually use someone's real recipe. The only problem is I don't have a dehydrator, and every chia cracker recipe I've found is raw. Bummer!

I'll report later.